Just who is responsible for making integration happen?
Let’s call the international student X and Singaporean society Y (for convenience.)
Y would be justified in saying that it doesn’t owe X anything. Y would be content to be left well enough alone. X could be perceived by Y as an undesirable intruder, strange and foreign. Y could be perceived by X as a cold, hostile and unfriendly place (but relatively opportunity-laden, compared to home.) So integration doesn’t have to happen, and in fact, it won’t happen if X and Y continue with their (individualistically rational) train of thoughts.
But that’s sub-optimal. When everyone looks out for themselves, everyone gets defensive and nobody’s willing to give anybody else a chance, everyone is worse off. Whether we’re talking from a biological, intellectual or cultural perspective, diversity always enriches everybody involved. Integration is ideal for everybody, both X and Y. We learn more about each other, and more importantly, about ourselves.
Exclusion, containment, isolation- these are not sustainable policies, in any situation- whether we’re talking about raising children, international relations (consider the Cold War), or, in this case, immigration. We do it when we’re trying to minimise the spread of viruses, but it makes more sense to build robust immune systems. Conflict resolution is a superior strategy to conflict avoidance- because the world is getting smaller, and interactions are getting more numerous.
Integration is conflict resolution. And no conflict between two parties is resolved by just one of the two. It’s everybody’s business, and in everybody’s self-interest, to grow the fuck up and extend a hand to the other.
And it doesn’t matter if we have a series of negative experiences, and if we get exploited or taken advantage of from time to time- because the few instances of co-operation that do emerge become robust, and will then be mimicked, and we’ll all be better off for it.
TL:DR;
Grace, compassion and mercy aren’t just fancy-sounding moral ideals, they’re effective survival strategies in a world where fight-or-flight is no longer an option, and negotiation and compromise is the only way forward.
If we’re trying to pinpoint who to blame, we’re asking the wrong question. (But if we really had to go there- a systemic problem requires a systemic solution, so the villain is the system itself- and the onus is then on every single element of the system, simultaneously. So it’s all of us, together.)
As an international student myself, the nature of the situation between X and Y you have laid out is very true in my experience. I spend much of my first year stepping out of my comfort zone, forcing myself to talk to people, and putting in 200% the effort that I would need at home. It is a painful process. 2 years on, it has become much easier and I’m completely comfortable with my white friends, but there is still that inevitable cultural barrier you have to get pass with each new person.
I find that this is regardless of the majority’s perception of foreigners. Most people are very nice and willing to engage in a social relationship with you, but initiative has always got to come from the international side.
I’m thinking this is the case in all contexts! When we’re thinking about our own future as individuals, when we’re looking out for our own self-interest, it makes sense that we should put it as much effort as we possibly can, in all things. We tend to come up with these standards of “fairness”- like, it’s not fair that they’re not trying as hard as I am, so I shouldn’t bother. And so we shortchange ourselves because of our own hubris.
Thanks for sharing! <3
i particularly like your last paragraph about the system!
And now in Sweden as a foreigne, I agree with both of you and now see the foreigner situation in Singapore in a clearer light than before (when I was merely empathizing without having lived it).
[…] Who is responsible for the integration of foreigners? Nobody, and everybody. We are eager to assign blame to people, but that doesn’t solve the problem. If we’re serious about solving the problem, we’ll have to do something about it. It’s not our job to, but thinking in terms of “who’s job is it?” is problematic. […]