journalling
I am always recommending to people that they ought to journal. Keep a diary, write your memoirs, it doesn’t really precisely matter what the form is. Keep a vlog if that’s what you prefer. Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages works perfectly: 3 pages, in the morning, for your eyes only, about anything, done by hand. A […]
so you’ve been main character’d
the hardest thing about dealing with being main character’d is managing your psychology, your emotional / physiological response to the feeling/perception of being attacked. I’d recommend writing down all of your thoughts and feelings in a notes app or something but do not post +1 to not replying, which is the most underappreciated thing. Replying […]
how to de-escalate tense situations
A thing i’ve gotten very good at that I just helped a friend in DMs with is de-escalating other people, eg someone DMs you a massive wall of text, how do you respond to that? I’ma try and share what I can without being too specific. If I get a huge wall of text, I […]
the solution to your imposter syndrome is not inside your head
The problem of imposter syndrome (under-estimating yourself) and Dunning-Krueger (over-estimating yourself) are both addressed by Talking To Other People so you can revise your self-estimates. I think people don’t talk to other people enough, and aren’t really listening properly. Listen to a dozen other people talk about their problems. really listen. it’ll cure your imposter […]
how to DM your heroes
How to DM your heroes when they follow you 1. specific proof-of-work: “I’ve been a fan of your work and writing since the livejournal days” 2. share something specific about yourself, their influence on you: “your work shaped the way I now do X” 3. ask easy-to-answer specific question. I would try to have a […]
🤝 how I rebuilt my trust in myself
A friend once said, regarding my Twitter, “I like how Visa says he’s going to do something, then immediately does it.” It’s actually an ADHD coping mechanism. If you ask my friends from my teenage days, they’ll tell you I was unreliable, full of shit, and that you couldn’t trust anything I said. This was […]
🙏🏾 how to ask for help
One of my new personal rules for myself is, if something annoys me, I’m going to funnel that into content that I can reference the next time I encounter it. Today I am annoyed by a very spammy, solipsistic request for help, that was effectively just “plz subscribe to my channel bc I need more […]
🗣 talking to people makes you a better writer
A friend asked me for some advice on a massive writing project that he’s had on the backburner for a while now. It sounded like something huge that could take years to finish. I suggested that he start with shorter essays. “But how do you scope them?” he asked. The answer – which seemed obvious […]
👋🏾 everyone loves to make a great introduction
I think the big secret of social life is that everybody loves to make a great introduction. If you can become someone that people love to introduce to to other people, you’re “in the green” socially. Everybody loves to introduce a great hire, romantic partner, friend, co-founder. Talking about this can seem narcissistic (narcissists ruin […]
⚠️ how to get my attention
(There’s quite a bit of preamble in this post before I get to the answer – just scroll down past the hot dogs if you’re too busy for the backstory!) I have a happy problem. I have over 10,000 Twitter followers. I’d like to think that I’d like to meet every last one of them. […]
👯♀️ make friends
I’ve kind of developed a name for myself as “the friendly guy”. My book is titled FRIENDLY AMBITIOUS NERD. I like to go on the Internet and make friends. — 1 — You can spend years arguing with idiots, or you can spend years making friends. The idiots aren’t going to be there for you […]
🤝 how to build and maintain communities
This blogpost started out as a bunch of notes and links, and I found myself sharing it with people over and over again so much. Here are a list of things that I recommend reading if you’re interested in communities. Read about the evaporative-cooling effect by Xianhang Zhang – “If anyone can join your community, […]