on male bullying/bonding:

“This is how it works with guys. Anytime you do anything remote sensitive, heart-warming, anything that’s going to make you more of a loving, caring individual, immediately, all your guy friends suggest that maybe, just maybe, you want to suck a dick. Oh, it’s brutal. Even if you do something smart, like it’s raining out, “He’s got an umbrella! What a fag! Oh my god! What are you afraid of the water? Put your shoulders up, you fucking homo! Jesus Christ, what, did you pull that thing out of your ass?” It’s brutal, it doesn’t even have to make sense. “You carved a pumpkin, what are you gonna do next, carve some guy’s ass with your cock? What a fag! You gonna blow his scarecrow? Get away from me with your gay little pumpkin!”

“What are you a fag” is the reason why guys drop at 55 out of fucking nowhere. It’s literally from 5 decades of just suppressing the urge to hug a puppy, admit a baby’s cute, say you want a cookie – you just gotta keep pushing that down, like, “I’m not sucking dick! I’m not sucking dick!”

One day, you’re in a Denny’s, and they forget to put bananas in your pancakes, you just have like an aneurism, and your head slams off that sticky table… and the last thing you hear before it all goes black is your friends going, “He got bananas in his pancakes! What a fag! Oh my God, it wasn’t sweet enough with the syrup, you fairy? Hey, bring another one over and shove it up his ass, because it looks like a dick, right? It looks like a dick! Yeah, I thought it then I said it, I’m awesome!”

It’s a horrible, horrible way to live your life.”