in my 30s i’ve been coming around to learning that most people are quite forgiving. i got burned really harshly in my teenage years by peers who would nuke multi-year friendships over perceived slights and i never quite realized that i’d been walking on eggshells for years since
if i had to put some numbers on it I think something like <10% of people hold harsh grudges over superficial trivial bullshit for longer than 7 years
I used to assume it was something like >60%
I assumed my in-laws would hate me forever for marrying their daughter against their wishes, but that lasted about ~5 years before they came around to something like “guess he can’t be that bad if they’re still happy together”. idk, i assume people are serious about grudges
also I think I grew up on a lot of stories like, siblings spiting each other for decades, like that guy in Lebanon who built a skinny building just to ruin his brother’s sea views. these people do exist but they’re not representative of everyone
a few tweets don’t quite do a good job of painting the whole picture properly… the interesting thing to think about is how a few painful data points can create a very compelling model that feels inescapably true from the inside