notes

when i look through my references when i take photographs 

it’s just to take a note of the moment that i see, knowing full well that the photo is going to be garbage

And that I have to deal with the reference photo on the computer to make it look close to how I felt at the time, what I thought I saw, and how it feels, and then when I’m diving into painting just to let that take over and let my mark-making create how it actually looks.

How do you make paint make reality when it’s just crazy weird fucking marks? When I’m selecting the references, it’s focusing on, mainly composition. I’m not even looking at anything other than light and where forms are on the whole thing. How perspective lines up and if it’s completely balanced as a rhythmic composition. It’s more about what happens between me and the panel than focusing on getting that reference right.

I don’t care if a car is here, here, a Prius or a Dodge, I don’t give a shit. I don’t care if it’s a truck. If it’s in the wrong spot, move it. If it’s a crowd of people, it’s a shape. Very abstract thinking, and in the end, very realistic painting with absolutely no realism to it. I mean, when you get up close it’s just a, it’s a sloppy mess of garbage but it feels right.

Realism, to me, involves something that’s beyond trying to make a painting look like reality. You’re never gonna get it if you try and get every detail. That detail is not reality, to me it’s the emotion. That’s reality. When you’re in a cityscape, or you’re on the street, you can’t see the entire scene in front of you. Some areas are just completely blown out, wiped out, rained out, a car is just a black blur. That’s how it feels to be in reality. 

And I like to paint that in a way that people who view my paintings are still aware that it’s paint. It’s a brushstroke on a face. But when you step back, it’s a face. When you get up close, you see the paint. Or there may be some weird shit that I did in the corner or over here where the brush marks are very apparent. And I think that’s what keeps the interest. Like, it’s a painting. ‘Cause that’s what I do, I’m not trying to hide the fact that it’s a painting, whereas some people will get really detailed… Like, let the photocopier do that. Paint is a medium, don’t try and force it be like a photo.