(og thread) hypothesis: a thing abt “my people” is they each have some way in which they are oddly compulsive, at least comparatively, relative to others around them. Sometimes this might express itself in a dysfunctional way, but it’s not *intrinsically* dysfunctional, just gotta channel it.

I grew up reading a ton of books, and every book is the product of an “oddly compulsive” mind. even if the author seems relaxed and gentle and has lovely sweetheart vibes, the act of writing a book is “oddly compulsive” the way running a marathon is “oddly compulsive”

may need a different way of saying “oddly compulsive”, got a little unnecessarily stuck on that phrase. anyway it occurs to me that maybe part of why I come across as weird to people with all my threads is that I was conditioned by books to believe that life is for book-writing

it’s never authors who find me weird, because they get it. “ah that guy is assembling research material”. the funny thing is a lot of people have favorite books, favorite movies, etc, and never pause to consider how weird/odd it is to sit down and make one of those things

and if a movie or book was good enough to become your favorite, it probably wasn’t made on a whim, it was probably part of a lifelong commitment to that process. (and anyway writing a book or movie on a whim is still hard af, if you actually go all the way through with it)

anyway what I wanted to say with the original thought was: I think each person is maximally powerful, productive, useful, etc when they focus on fully manifesting The Way In Which They Are Odd. specialization and trade is how most wealth is created

we can learn a lot from other people, and even learn by imitating them directly, but try to continually return to the heart – that there is a unique creative energy within you that expresses itself through your actions, &even your imitations of others. you can’t run from yourself

part of the magic of “do 100 thing” is that, somewhere around 20 or so, you kind of Just Know whether or not you really want to keep going. I get kinda tired of music, I get kinda tired of drawing. but I never seem to get tired of writing. I will do 100,000,000 writings if I can.

here we get back to like some really old, cheesy but powerful truths about finding out who the fuck you really are. in the core of one’s being is a bundle of impulses, inclinations, yearnings, etc. you are not MERELY that, but you will prob have a very hard time if you DENY that

there are many ways of approaching this. one way of approach is aesthetic some people, when they see how aesthetics is embodied, will be like “oh FUCK” and become enlightened. others will be like, “what the fuck are you talking about”– need different approach

I do think it’s worth experimenting with radically different aesthetics than what you’re familiar with, but different people have different tastes and inclinations for this. i tend to recommend incremental baby steps, but there’s also sth to be said about the utility of shock.

but it’s very hard to responsibly advocate that people shock themselves because when it goes bad it can go really, really bad. there’s a lot of tacit, implicit, embodied knowledge that doesn’t translate thru plaintext.

✱

deviants, aesthetics