I’m half Japanese. It feels weird.

I was in Calcutta and asked to visit a slum. I did not feel good about it.

I live next to an old folks home. The silence is scary. I am uncomfortable with the old and elderly. I feel helpless, guilty and impatient.

“The government will be considering a law to allow singaporeans to make living wills” 1994

Hanoi, artists colony. Vietnam war “who can forget the relentless warfare or the photographs of refugees in their leaking boats”. “When I remarked how dark the country was, a colleague retorted that that was why the Americans had difficulty bombing it”. Viet kieu: fled in 70s to US, etc, now returning home 

Japan hot spring. Volunteer gardeners. Neighbourliness. Fed up with local taxi driver back home

(90s you can just write openly about the shock of how other people live)

Used to lie about swimming. Scared of drowning. Yellow-belly. My main problem was embarrassment. 

31yo, 36 years to retirement. (1995) journalism ages you quickly. When she graduated in 1985, Sg was on the verge of a recession (?). Gnawing anxiety of waiting for a reply. People in boom times seem less anxious. When my work is recognized it does wonders for my self esteem.

97

Diary. Meeting jc friend. Call at 4am friend. Friends fade, marriages invalidate friendship, failed to make effort. SDU study: not exactly party animals. (Funny that SDU exists.)

Diana. No time to feel. Adrenaline flowed. What soccer fans must feel on the night of a crucial match. 

Yaohan department store, revolutionised shopping at plaza singapura. One stop family shopping. Was for the masses. (Cold Storage used to be for the rich). Old plaza sing was uncool when Centerpoint and Wisma atria popped up 

98

80s chinois disco. Need membership. Permed hair and heavy makeup. “Is there a more dated word than discotheque?” “Don’t they dress up when they go out these days?” Chinois booked for retro night by youths from various Community Centres, part of the activity was to promote a smoke free environment 

Sister married husband from Huntsville Alabama. Motherhood can wait

Former boyfriend… when you’re in love you see the world with new eyes, everything almost unbearably bright

99

Still single. Left on the shelf. Old maid. Spinster. Shame of singlehood. Past your sell-by date 

96

Widespread myopia in Singapore’s kids

“We are trying to find a treatment for it”. She got lasik in 2008. Surgery costed $2.5k to $8k, more expensive than 40 years of spectacles (est $12k)

2000

Sad to get used to a hospital – dad bedridden after a stroke. Grief cycle, guilt. Hypochondria. Dad died. Wish she recognized stroke. She was watching ally Mcbeal. Regrets. Love.

Friend jokes about ROM. Who moved my cheese. “Suan le”, let it be

2000 Stranger or friend in the house: maid of 4 years, cleopatra, back to manila. Came to Sg 1996 at 22. Wide eyed for adventure. Had studied as a nurse but decided it wasn’t for her. Parents were against it. 3rd child of 8 kids. 2 Teachers, 1 doctor, 1 nurse in Saudi, 2 studying. Brother is policeman. She took alternate sundays off at computer school in Far East. Cost her 3 months salary, $1300. Windows, word perfect, PowerPoint. Enterprising. 6 Pinoy maids in 10 years. Brenda left after 6 months bc earthquake. Avoid overfamiliarity and oversentimentality with work.

2000 Dec- promotion time. Grumpy, feeling unappreciated.

Office friends. Friendships in general, shared experience, chemistry.

2001 Teochew. Dad st Andrews boy, tennyson, Somerset, charteris saint. Moms side, great grandfather owned Teochew opera company. Interesting to consider the history of Chinese opera in Sg. Dialects were regarded as inferior. In convent sch we acted like English was all we knew. In the 70s…

Journey to the west: father was fascinated with China. So cheena. Hid paintings during cultural revolution. Zhou enlai.

Country living stress-reliever, forgot how to frown.

2002 Singapore women fierce. Argue, ask questions, unfeminine, career-driven.

03 mom: “why can’t you have a proper boyfriend and a romantic dinner” on Christmas Eve, valentines, birthday. Prince Charming, nice young man. Doesn’t every woman want a man to support her so she doesn’t have to work? No, appalled. Not every woman. I like working.

2004, Nokia 6100, phone already most important gadget, 164 SMSes. SMSes perfect for NSA flirting. Compliments sound more sincere via SMS. 

2005- Dad was afraid if she learned Japanese she’d marry a Japanese man. Mom watched Gary cooper films in Ginza.