I’ve always been quite fascinated with the economics of dating. Louis CK had this interesting bit about how there are some people that nobody will ever fuck, ever – and the audience goes “aww”, and he responds “you could change that right now, you could go out and fuck one of them, but you won’t!” – and the audience laughs, because it’s true. 

There are some truths about human relationships that are too impolite to talk about. And I find them fascinating.  

I’m thinking about some tweets I saw earlier from an kickboxer, Andrew. He tweeted something interesting “red pill” things about depression, “victim mentality”, “toxic masculinity” and so on. 

It’s interesting. I’m thinking also about a study that revealed how physically fit and strong men were likelier to be ‘conservative’ politically, and how physically weaker men were likely to be ‘liberal’ politically. 

It’s interesting. I feel like there must be a kernel of truth at the heart of each side.  

It’s interesting to think as well about the general trends that people have when it comes to things like sexual attractiveness. It’s true that people will tolerate a lot of bullshit from people that they’re sexually attracted to. It’s just a fact of life, you can see it.  

It also seems to be true to me that people who are sexually attractive are relatively less likely to be depressed, in the mid-range. At the extreme end – the hyper-celebrities – all bets are off, perhaps because the hyper-celebrity life is ridiculously distorted and not at all what humans are designed for. 

What I’m curious about is… where are the big strong attractive men who spend their time being sensitive and gentle and nurturing? Dwayne Johnson comes to mind. Why isn’t there an army of Dwayne Johnsons in the world? 

Brings me back to my original starting point about economics. It seems that highly attractive people can be highly charismatic and likeable, but they can also be really mean, selfish, irresponsible and so on. Maybe that’s just a convenient narrative. It’s hard to figure out the truth about these things because we’re all embedded in our respective social environments. Who are the most attractive people I personally know, both men and women? 

“There are very few fat lonely 60 year old men with no money, family or hobbies who aren’t depressed – this is not a clinical disease. Most of these people are unhappy with their lives and too lazy to change it. ‘It’s not my fault i’m poor/sad/fat/stupid’”. Fault is an interesting thing.  

Whether or not it’s your fault, whose responsibility is it to fix it? Should it be considered to be unfixable? 

It seems that there are people who, from time to time, are able to climb out of the pit of misery and become fit, attractive, financially successful and so on.  

(Yes, I am assuming that, broadly speaking, fit people are happier than unfit people, attractive people are happier than unattractive people, people with money are happier than people who are broke… I think these are valid assumptions. You will find some exceptions, like the creative who is broke and fat but is truly experiencing rapturous joy from his work, but these are really rare exceptions. The trends seem to be accurate when talking about most people. Most people, if they spent a year getting physically much fitter, will be quite happy to share that with their friends on Facebook and/or Instagram. And we have a tendency to celebrate those people with our Likes – because there’s something admirable about people working towards their goals and achieving them, isn’t it?) 

Let’s circle back. There are some truths about human relations that are rude to talk about. Attractive people are broadly happier, treated better, get better outcomes in social situations. There is an economics to dating… 

I’m in Krabi now, and it’s interesting to observe that practically all of the mixed-race couples are of white men and asian women. Why is that the case? I know of a couple of asian men who’ve dated and even married white women, but this happens about maybe 10% of the time, even less. Why? 

There are things that people aren’t comfortable talking about because they’re touchy topics (or whatever). But there’s a sort of perverse irony here – if we never talk about something because it makes us uncomfortable to talk about it, then we’re never going to be able to address it. So everybody sort of collectively have these private personal thoughts