I could probably write a book about this, but actually any smart person should be able to chase down the implications themselves
— Visakan Veerasamy (@visakanv) July 7, 2018
It’s interesting that there isn’t a single word that solves 4 the way there are words that solve 1, 2 and 3
There might be an opportunity here 🤔🤔 pic.twitter.com/3WXCqlaBha
What do you want? Do you really want what you think you want, or did you inherit it from your parents, your peers, from society at large? If you want what everyone else wants, the laws of demand/supply means you’ll have to pay more for it, compete harder for it. Losing game
If you’re vague about what you want, you’ll likely end up paying a premium for it, and often find that you end up chasing very expensive prizes that are hard to win. The more precise you are about what you want, the easier it becomes to get it. And this process is v illuminating
For example, I have developed (relatively) a lot of clarity re: what I want out of Twitter. I want to be friends with diverse people who are thoughtful and kind. This clarifies what is worth my trouble and what isn’t. Some “losing games” are worth playing if it helps your goals
Sometimes you might see me tweet something and wonder “why is he tweeting that, he’s inviting ridicule”. I thought long and hard about it and decided it’s generally worth crawling through 100 assholes to reach 1 good person. This gives me a feeling of lightness & calm confidence
One way of framing “how to get what you want” is “find out what it costs, and pay it”. The cost of freedom and happiness is the willingness to be misunderstood and to invite conflict. Lots of misery stems from a lack of clarity about the true costs of things; ie rosy expectations
If you don’t know where you want to go, you’ll never get there. If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never get it. Of course, with experience, you will change your ideas about what you want over time, so it’s smart to be somewhat flexible and keep your options somewhat open
Another way of approaching this is to invert it: be clear about what you DON’T want, what you won’t tolerate or accept. Don’t let chance and circumstance kick you into a life that you did not choose and did not want. All of this is a reflexive process that you refine as you go
Some of the common things people think they want: money, sex, power, friends, relationships…