By “Anon User”

When does love make one miserable and jealous?

It does not. You misread your own feelings.

The buzzing freneticism of intense emotion, especially new love, is a type of spiritual high, and you only feel misery when you imagine losing it, imagine that you will be thrust downwards as forcefully and uncontrollably and inevitably as you were borne aloft. You choose the futures that you foresee, and the loss is an illusion.

Indeed, the ‘having’ is an illusion as well, but a sweet one at that.

As David Deida once wrote, jealousy is the sting of false hope. False hope that something, or someone, will finally make you happy, or fill a void deep within. You become jealous of those who have what you think would make you happy. But you are wrong. No object, relationship, or experience will ever make you happy, or open, or fulfilled. Nothing outside of you can really touch the core within if your soul does not choose to lead the dance. I can say it no better than he did:

In moments of envy, seethe in the pang of jealousy without consolation. Be jealous fully, without closing. Open wide as possible even while squirming as jealousy. Breathe the entire moment in and out of your jealous heart. Allow the moment’s presence to penetrate into your deepest heart, and allow your heart to give love outward without limit, feeling out beyond, all you can sense or know. 

Your life is adorned with various gains and losses, pleasures and pains. In the midst of every present moment, you are either opening or closing. You are either feeling all while giving your deepest gifts of love or you are waiting.

Jealousy is the stress of being reminded that you are waiting.