There once was a guy who swore he’d never ever buy a car. After all, he reasoned, all cars eventually break down and fail on their owners, and usually at the worst possible time. They’re just too expensive, too much effort and nothing but disappointment.

He knows what he’s talking about. He test-drove many cars in the past. He’s witnessed many of his ignorant friends get excited about their new purchases, and then succumb to heartbreak as their tires burst, engines stalled and carburetors failed. Those who bothered to try repairing their cars often ended up spending much more time, money and energy than they ever intended to. Some of his friends spent their life savings on a vehicle, only to spend the rest of their lives wishing they hadn’t been so hasty and had instead bought what they truly wanted. In some terrifying cases, the brakes gave way and the cars were totaled in horrific crashes- killing the drivers, who had so much promise in their lives.

“Why do people even bother with cars at all?”, he often ponders, while smoking his pipe. (He knows that smoking is bad for his health- he has a nasty hacking cough, but he reasons that the pleasure is worth the pain.) Mistake after disappointment after mistake after disappointment, occasionally interspersed with tragedy and devastation! The world must be crazy, he reasons. It’s a lonely place for a rational man.