I feel like I could reasonably split my life into three phases (so far).

The first phase is the phase of accumulation. We’re talking from early childhood to adolescence- the longest phase yet. Calvin and Hobbes, Enid Blyton. Science. History. Language. Nirvana, Guns N’ Roses. Playing in a band. Getting a girlfriend. I’d say this was my dominant phase up until I was about 19. Of course, I’m still accumulating new ideas and perspectives all the time, but that’s become a sort of backburner- something I do subconsciously. I think it’s something we can easily go overboard these days- obsessing about acquisition, getting tonnes of books, movies, all that stuff. Information overload.

The second phase is the phase of reflection. I think this had its beginnings when I really started writing (or slightly before), around secondary school- when I was 13 or 14. There’s some degree of overlap with the first stage, of course. I think you can only really call yourself reflective when you start to acknowledge your own mistakes and shortcomings. I started blaming others less and blaming myself more. I thought I became a little more sensible about things, a little more fair and even-handed. Sometimes, though, I was a little hard on myself and had moments of despair and self-loathing. Thankfully, I managed to overcome that, and have been able to steer away from that particular pit of quicksand. This provided me with a greater understanding of other people, their motivations. I became more aware of how I came across to people, of how I was being perceived, stuff like that. I started to realize that I was far more naive than I thought I was. I started to get to know myself better, to figure out what I like, what I believe in. I suppose this was when I started to dive into philosophy and stuff like that.

I’m still accumulating information, of course- in fact there was a bit of a revival towards the end of my JC life and for the earlier part of my NS life when I found myself getting re-acquainted with information at large- learning new things altogether, broadening my horizons. It started to feel necessary, important- I felt like I didn’t know enough- reflection made me more aware of the gaps in my knowledge.

So there’s acquisition of experiences and information, then there’s reflection and restructuring- rearranging and making sense of that information. Then what?

Creation! Being creative, generative. That’s the third stage. Of course, I’ve created stuff before- writing music could be described as vaguely generative, though I thought that was more of a side-effect of me playing in a band, rather than the main intent. But this is when I really feel like I’m ready to contribute to the world. I’ve seen and heard plenty, and I’ve thought about all of that and what that means- enough to spend the remainder of my life simply discussing what I’ve acquired and reflected. of course, I’m going to do more than that.

Life is far too complex to be split into distinct phases. But I think it’s worth having provisional ideas (with the intention of replacing them with superior ones once they become obsolete) to give you a rough idea of things, to figure out how to act. Acquisition, reflection, creation. It’s like unlocking a new level, transcending your prior circumstances, reaching new heights, having a bigger arsenal. There’s more to my life now. This is where I create. I am ready. My life’s work is ahead of me. Let’s get cracking.