A few days ago I was tasked with writing something along the lines of “What’s the defining moment of BMT for you?”. My immediate thought was that there is no single defining moment- it’s more of a “gradual” realization that grows on you, although of course like all “gradual” realizations, it happens in little leaps rather than at a steady, consistent pace.
The most substantial leaps stand out in our minds as defining moments, but it’s important to note that the definitive nature of the moment has little to do with the moment itself and everything to do with our perception and computation of it. You can’t talk about a defining moment without talking about who’s doing the defining. We have a horribly outdated habit of presuming that everyone must necessarily see things our way (when they don’t), so we often omit the latter- which tends to be the root of a lot of misunderstanding.
That little digression aside, the more important question that arises is- what is this realization? It came to me almost fully formed like a familiar melody, something that I already knew all along- it’s the realization that we are not alone. We are all connected to one another. Our actions all have consequences beyond ourselves, whether we like it or not. We have the power to influence our fate, we can choose how to play the cards that we are dealt, and this is achieved by acknowledging the interconnectedness of everything, and demonstrating that understanding through our decision-making.
That’s all rather abstract, so let’s contextualize it to make it easier to digest: BMT, where recruits, sargeants and officers interact together in a communal environment on an off-shore island, creating a shared experience. I always like to keep in mind the thought that nobody really wants to be there, at least not all the time- not even the senior officers. Everybody has other things they’d rather be doing. It surprises me that after over a month of punishments, a startling number of recruits still seem unable to grasp that their happiness and well-being is directly dependent on their superiors’- or to put it more succinctly, “If you want to have a good time in BMT, make your sargeants and officers happy.”
Time and time again I witness my fellow recruits falling in late, being sloppy in their drills, and most amusing of all, embarrassing their sargeants by making a fool of themselves at the most inappropriate of times. Punishments ensue, but the concept is never truly grasped. And then you see and hear people complaining about how annoying and difficult their peers and sargeants are, seemingly overlooking the fact that they could’ve avoided the ditch they found themselves in if they simply paid attention and made a little effort to avoid putting themselves in such compromising positions. We then end up attacking individuals rather than appreciating the overall system. Few people are so sadistic as to actually enjoy spending their spare time punishing others when they could be doing other more productive (or unproductive) things of their choice instead. Your sargeant really just wants to go home, just like you- but he has responsibilities entrusted in him, and if you screw things up, he’s going to have to answer for them- surely you would react the same way in his shoes, if not worse?
It is equally apparent to me that this isn’t an insight exclusive to BMT. The same realization dawns on you when you contemplate romantic love, friendship, music, religion, art. All of it becomes glorious when you truly accept that it’s not all about you.
And yet, even as I write about this, I can’t help but think about all the times where I’ve failed to properly appreciate this truism of reality. If I did, after all, I would have worked a lot harder and done a lot better in school, and I wouldn’t upset or disappoint my loved ones as often as I do. Perhaps I’m being hyper-sensitive to this phenomena in others because I realise that it’s a weakness of my own. I find it easy to appreciate in BMT, but I certainly didn’t back when I was in school. Why’s that? I don’t want to use “because I’m more mature now” as a cop-out answer (though I do think it’s fairly valid). I’m pretty sure I was aware of this even when I was studying- that life would have been a lot easier if I simply did my homework and at least went through the motions satisfactorily enough to give people the opportunity to leave me alone. Or was I? I find myself uncertain- I knew, but I did not know. I got myself out of this (or rather, I am getting myself out of this) through continued repetition and reflection. I’m most certainly going to end up in another unnecessary ditch sooner or later. That’s life for you. What’s important is that we learn, and we do better the next time.
Instinct and casual experience tend to guide us to believe that we’re each on our own, that nobody owes us a living, that we have to look out for ourselves. All of these observations are completely valid on their own- but on their own they are rather limited. Necessary, but not sufficient in describing the complexity of the human experience. We have to reconcile those ideas with the reality that our concepts of self are inseparable from our concepts of community. Even the most reclusive individual has drunk deeply from the communal stream of human knowledge, of life itself. We are all a part of something greater than ourselves.
So what’s the point of all this? The fact remains that we’re all connected to one another, whether we like it or not. So we’re going to have to worry about the interests and well-being of others, even if we’re only interested in our own happiness and well-being- because we’re all connected. A happy sargeant reasonably equates to happy recruits.
You can and should continue to act in your self-interest. Just remember to take into account the fact that your Self is directly (or indirectly) affected by others. So if you truly care about yourself, then you’re going to have to care about others- that’s just the way it is. You empower yourself when you empower others, when you make yourself valuable, indispensable, cherished.
If we all simply took this simple idea and factored it into our decision-making, the world would quickly become a much more pleasant place. It starts with each and every one of us. Spend a little time thinking about how you can further your own self-interest by being sincerely interested in the happiness and well-being of others. I’m not asking you to be some sort of altruistic saint with the desire to do good. I’m not asking you to give up your individuality and obsess about the expectations of others. I’m just asking you to look out for yourself a little better. You can do that, right?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
TL;DR?
We are all connected. As such, your happiness, fulfillment, accomplishment and success are all dependent on your dealings with others. Make them count.
The Simple Yet Overlooked Truth About Self-Interest
A few days ago I was tasked with writing something along the lines of “What’s the defining moment of BMT for you?”. My immediate thought was that there is no single defining moment- it’s more of a “gradual” realization that grows on you, although of course like all “gradual” realizations, it happens in little leaps rather than at a steady, consistent pace.
The most substantial leaps stand out in our minds as defining moments, but it’s important to note that the definitive nature of the moment has little to do with the moment itself and everything to do with our perception and computation of it. You can’t talk about a defining moment without talking about who’s doing the defining. We have a horribly outdated habit of presuming that everyone must necessarily see things our way (when they don’t), so we often omit the latter- which tends to be the root of a lot of misunderstanding.
That little digression aside, the more important question that arises is- what is this realization? It came to me almost fully formed like a familiar melody, something that I already knew all along- it’s the realization that we are not alone. We are all connected to one another. Our actions all have consequences beyond ourselves, whether we like it or not. We have the power to influence our fate, we can choose how to play the cards that we are dealt, and this is achieved by acknowledging the interconnectedness of everything, and demonstrating that understanding through our decision-making.
That’s all rather abstract, so let’s contextualize it to make it easier to digest: BMT, where recruits, sargeants and officers interact together in a communal environment on an off-shore island, creating a shared experience. I always like to keep in mind the thought that nobody really wants to be there, at least not all the time- not even the senior officers. Everybody has other things they’d rather be doing. It surprises me that after over a month of punishments, a startling number of recruits still seem unable to grasp that their happiness and well-being is directly dependent on their superiors’- or to put it more succinctly, “If you want to have a good time in BMT, make your sargeants and officers happy.”
Time and time again I witness my fellow recruits falling in late, being sloppy in their drills, and most amusing of all, embarrassing their sargeants by making a fool of themselves at the most inappropriate of times. Punishments ensue, but the concept is never truly grasped. And then you see and hear people complaining about how annoying and difficult their peers and sargeants are, seemingly overlooking the fact that they could’ve avoided the ditch they found themselves in if they simply paid attention and made a little effort to avoid putting themselves in such compromising positions. We then end up attacking individuals rather than appreciating the overall system. Few people are so sadistic as to actually enjoy spending their spare time punishing others when they could be doing other more productive (or unproductive) things of their choice instead. Your sargeant really just wants to go home, just like you- but he has responsibilities entrusted in him, and if you screw things up, he’s going to have to answer for them- surely you would react the same way in his shoes, if not worse?
It is equally apparent to me that this isn’t an insight exclusive to BMT. The same realization dawns on you when you contemplate romantic love, friendship, music, religion, art. All of it becomes glorious when you truly accept that it’s not all about you.
And yet, even as I write about this, I can’t help but think about all the times where I’ve failed to properly appreciate this truism of reality. If I did, after all, I would have worked a lot harder and done a lot better in school, and I wouldn’t upset or disappoint my loved ones as often as I do. Perhaps I’m being hyper-sensitive to this phenomena in others because I realise that it’s a weakness of my own. I find it easy to appreciate in BMT, but I certainly didn’t back when I was in school. Why’s that? I don’t want to use “because I’m more mature now” as a cop-out answer (though I do think it’s fairly valid). I’m pretty sure I was aware of this even when I was studying- that life would have been a lot easier if I simply did my homework and at least went through the motions satisfactorily enough to give people the opportunity to leave me alone. Or was I? I find myself uncertain- I knew, but I did not know. I got myself out of this (or rather, I am getting myself out of this) through continued repetition and reflection. I’m most certainly going to end up in another unnecessary ditch sooner or later. That’s life for you. What’s important is that we learn, and we do better the next time.
Instinct and casual experience tend to guide us to believe that we’re each on our own, that nobody owes us a living, that we have to look out for ourselves. All of these observations are completely valid on their own- but on their own they are rather limited. Necessary, but not sufficient in describing the complexity of the human experience. We have to reconcile those ideas with the reality that our concepts of self are inseparable from our concepts of community. Even the most reclusive individual has drunk deeply from the communal stream of human knowledge, of life itself. We are all a part of something greater than ourselves.
So what’s the point of all this? The fact remains that we’re all connected to one another, whether we like it or not. So we’re going to have to worry about the interests and well-being of others, even if we’re only interested in our own happiness and well-being- because we’re all connected. A happy sargeant reasonably equates to happy recruits.
You can and should continue to act in your self-interest. Just remember to take into account the fact that your Self is directly (or indirectly) affected by others. So if you truly care about yourself, then you’re going to have to care about others- that’s just the way it is. You empower yourself when you empower others, when you make yourself valuable, indispensable, cherished.
If we all simply took this simple idea and factored it into our decision-making, the world would quickly become a much more pleasant place. It starts with each and every one of us. Spend a little time thinking about how you can further your own self-interest by being sincerely interested in the happiness and well-being of others. I’m not asking you to be some sort of altruistic saint with the desire to do good. I’m not asking you to give up your individuality and obsess about the expectations of others. I’m just asking you to look out for yourself a little better. You can do that, right?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
TL;DR?
We are all connected. As such, your happiness, fulfillment, accomplishment and success are all dependent on your dealings with others. Make them count.