Humility to me is knowing and acknowledging my limitations, flaws, weaknesses, shortcomings. How am I supposed to behave in circumstances wherein I have not encountered any limitations? Does humility necessarily mean having to suppress your honest thoughts, feelings and desires?
I do not believe I am destined for great things; but I do believe that I can accomplish them if I work hard enough. I know that I want to. Does that make me an arrogant, narcissistic person?
If you want and need to be saved, I will do all in my power to save you- whoever you are, and whatever the context. Does that mean I have a messiah complex?
I fight for what I believe in, and what I believe in changes from time to time. Does that make me an inconsistent person?
I make mistakes. I dare to fail. Does that reduce my value as a human being, in your eyes?
The very way in which you began your post contextualised the whole issue of humility already. you made it subjective, which it can be, but since you made it so, we have to accept that different people have different answers to the various questions you posed. and since the said questions have rhetoric connotations, you’re trying to impose your opinion while asking for differing answers to the questions, which is kind of contradictory.
The statements and questions in each paragraph are also contradictory as they are somehow unrelated. perhaps the contradictions were intentional to highlight, in a sarcastic way, the illogical and contradictory thoughts that people have. but couldn’t you just spell it out instead of subtly insulting them?
moving on.. i think your questions cannot be answered in a way that you would deem satisfactory because what you think humility is, is not the same as what other people think humility is. i for one, do not believe that humility is just the acknowledgement of one’s own limitations. someone could think “yes, i am bad at sports but i am still awesome” is that being humble?
just like how pride isn’t thinking that one is perfect because one can think highly of oneself despite his/her imperfections. not because he/she doesn’t realise his/her imperfections, but because he/she thinks it’s negligible and his/her good points more than make up for the bad points, hence he/she thinks that he/she’s better than everyone else.
so humility would be the realisation that one’s assets do not make one better or more important than everyone else.
in other words, instead of ‘defining’ humility by looking at one’s treatment of one’s limitations etc etc, i would think that humility is the treatment of one’s assets and how these thoughts affects one’s opinion of him/herself.
whoops. that was me, nat.
Hi Nat! 😀
>”you’re trying to impose your opinion while asking for differing answers to the questions which is kind of contradictory.”
I’m not trying to impose my opinions on anybody else; what gave you that idea? What is the contradiction here?
Even if I were trying to impose my opinions, what’s wrong with asking for differing answers? If anything, I’m trying to challenge my own unrealized perceptions and assumptions so that I can refine my own knowledge and understanding of myself, others and the world.
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> “The statements and questions in each paragraph are also contradictory as they are somehow unrelated.”
They are not exactly unrelated per se- in each question there is an unspoken assumption that is made, and each statement challenges that unspoken assumption by addressing it directly.
For example, when I ask “Does that make me an inconsistent person?”, I’m challenging assumptions such as “inconsistency is inherently a negative trait”.
I think that’s what you’re referring to as a “contradiction”- which is exactly what I’m trying to achieve– because such “contradictions” are uncomfortable. They’re conflicts that force you to think so that you can resolve them, and they leave you philosophically better off- so you can make better decisions and choices.
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> perhaps the contradictions were intentional to highlight, in a sarcastic way, the illogical and contradictory thoughts that people have. but couldn’t you just spell it out instead of subtly insulting them?
I wasn’t trying to impose my opinion earlier, and I’m not trying to subtly insult people now. You know me- If I want to insult people, I do it outright!
In this case I’m trying to make the reader think for herself, and to question her own assumptions about people and circumstances. I cannot possibly spell out each and every assumption my reader might be making- everybody makes different assumptions.
Also, as a general rule, I’ve come to learn that people don’t really listen or care when you spell things out for them.
> someone could think “yes, i am bad at sports but i am still awesome” is that being humble?
Saying “I am awesome” is a bit extreme. What about “Yes, I am bad at sports, but I am really, really good at baking”?
> humility would be the realisation that one’s assets do not make one better or more important than everyone else.
I know where you’re coming from with this. On one hand I’m inclined to agree, because so much of what we have and what we are is owed to circumstance, and circumstance can change in the blink of an eye. The graduate might be condescending towards the dropout today, but might find himself in need of his help tomorrow.
On the other hand, i’m also inclined to disagree, because I find hard to agree with the idea that everybody is of equal value and importance. Realistically speaking, that is untrue. It’s a sad, ugly and disgusting thing to admit, but some people are more valuable and important than others.
Is Barack Obama, for instance, being humble if he says “I am no more important or valuable than anyone else”? (Can you imagine Lee Kuan Yew saying that? Or Christiano Ronaldo? Stephen Hawking?)
To me, it would come across as forced and artificial, even if he was somehow completely sincere about it. Here we have men who worked their asses off their entire lives to get to where they are- and they are obligated, by a society that is often blind to their efforts, to pretend that they are no more valuable or important than anybody else.
Humility, for me, would be if he said “I am in a position of importance and value and I have worked my ass off to get here, but I acknowledge that it is a position accorded to me by forces beyond my immediate control and which may be taken away from me by those very forces. As such, I will treat my position with respect and gratitude.”
That’s real humility, to me- to wake up each day and think that you’re lucky to have what you have. I still don’t really see why it must mean that we cannot be honest about ourselves, but now that I give it more thought I must acknowledge that I do see the need to be tactful about it to discourage being perceived in a negative light.
On a slightly unrelated note, I do wish we were all a little more tolerant of ambitious people who don’t always get it right. It often seems to me that we’re too quick to crucify anybody who makes mistakes- which makes people afraid to try in the first place. I don’t like that we’re all conditioned to keep our heads down and voices low in fear of doing or saying something wrong.
Thank you so much though, for taking the time and energy to give me a thought out response. I really appreciate it and you really made me think. Your next milo peng is on me!
lol no need milo peng lah. i will make my reply short.
“That’s real humility, to me- to wake up each day and think that you’re lucky to have what you have.”
it sounds like your definition is more suited to “appreciative” rather than humility. while humble people are generally appreciative. appreciative people might not be humble. ok that was grammatically wrong but you get what i mean.
and to your second last paragraph. i think people, esp singaporeans, we have the mentality “if you can, then go ahead and try. but if you cannot. don’t action, don’t try” so it’s not that people are overly-judgemental to ambitious people, but rather to ambitious and not=so-capable people. and if such a person is ambitious AND capable, then he shouldn’t let people get him down and keep going until he proves to the world that his capabilities match up to his ambition.
ok see you soon! 🙂
The thing is, nobody is born capable. You have to try, and fail, and make mistakes. Nobody gets it right the first time. You can’t ride a bicycle or swim the first time you try, let alone accomplish anything of significant magnitude.
If you make it socially unacceptable to make mistakes or to fail, you make it very difficult for anybody to seriously consider pursuing anything that isn’t “safe”- and when that happens, it’s like killing the plants before they ever flower or bear fruit.