Think of love not as something you fall into, like a rabbit hole of unknowable depths, but as something you grow- like a living thing- and you will no longer fear it. To love is to live, and while it might seem daunting initially, it is infinitely more preferable than the alternative.

It is not an inanimate unknown like death. On the contrary, it is as far from death as possibly imaginable, for it is the essence of life itself. Love should comfort you, for it reminds you that you’re alive- that life is fleeting and oh-so-precious.

Love is like a teenager. It needs attention, understanding and compromise.  You can’t impose your will upon it, but you can’t ignore it either- both extremes will lead to dysfunction and unhappiness. It will never really behave the way you want it, and you’ll have to learn to accept or even appreciate that. Try not to have any expectations, and you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised sooner or later- and quite possibly in a manner that you had not considered.

Love is like a plant. You tend to it like you would prune it- you give it room to grow, while you get rid of undesirable elements. Too much growth is messy and chaotic, too much pruning leaves you bare and lifeless. You have to have a fairly clear idea of what you want to have, yet be willing to change that idea along the way.

Love is like nature. Each individual element in nature is elegant and unique in its variance and individuality, yet identifiable as part of a greater whole- the same could be said for every individual’s experience of love. Nature is not all rainbows and butterflies, in contrast it is red in tooth and claw- ruthless and unforgiving. At the same time, it is beautiful, abundant and glorious.  Love, like life in nature, is precious in its fleetingness, yet exalted in its presence.

Love is like a virus. It spreads across vast networks of people and multiplies in intensity when it is concentrated. It’s really quite impossible to avoid despite one’s best efforts. And no matter how hard you try, it seems just about impossible to eliminate it- for it will always survive, even in the most unimaginable and hostile of conditions.

Love is life itself. It can be beautiful, it can be scary. It can be hostile, it can be friendly. It can make you happy, it can make you sad, it can make you angry, confused or mad- but most of all, it makes you feel alive. To love and be loved can seem scary sometimes, but you could say the same thing about living altogether. It’s not easy, in fact it’s a lot of hard work. Still, I’d choose life over the alternative any day. To live without love is to miss out not just on a “life experience”, but on life itself. The most profound sadness and emptiness is not to be found on Earth, but in the desolation of deep space where there is no life, and there is no love. (Well, as far as we know, at least! If there are some lovable space aliens out there, give me a holler.)