been lying in bed all day today- seriously from like 5 am to 9pm

was thinking about all kinds of different things, i can’t remember any of them because i think i might have fallen asleep here and there but i feel somewhat enriched and energized by it

sooo dehydrated

did a lot of push-ups and sit-ups and random nonsense with dumb-bells because i was so sick of how much my body was starting to literally wither away into nothingness- i have some nice soreness in the chest today so i’m going to go and eat something heavy in a while

part of the reason i was in bed the whole time was to make sure that i didn’t smoke, so i haven’t smoked anything in over 24 hours. the withdrawal symptoms are very real. they’re not powerfully strong and obvious, but they’re there nagging away in the background until you pay attention to them or do something about it.

my neck is a little bit sore- that’s probably from working out, but so’s the higher part, at the back of my head. that’s definitely from not-smoking. the front of my head sort of hurts, too. i’m slightly cold, clammy and irritable without realising it. i’m not stressed, but i don’t feel relaxed- there’s a certain tension in the body.

“Tobacco smokers are in a chronic state of nervous stimulation. Many of the symptoms quitters experience are the result of the nervous system returning to normal. It normally last for 1-2 weeks.”

I’m also quite dizzy, probably from the increased oxygen intake. (lol)

cold turkey is ridiculous. i think i’ll have one stick later today with damien.

“Fatigue

Nicotine is a stimulant. 2 to 4 weeks. Get extra sleep and more exercise; take naps; don’t push yourself. If you feel tired when you first wake up, do some moderate exercises and take a cool shower. Drink 6-8 glasses of water per day to speed up the healing process.”

I like how they call it a healing process, because there’s probably damaged tissue by now, here and there on the inside somewhere. =\

It’s all in the mind, man! It’s all in the mind! and body, and nervous system, and lungs…