So as I mentioned earlier, as an ENTP my inferior function is my introverted sensing (Si).I’m bad at learning from past experiences and mistakes, partially perhaps because I’m often so much more caught up with theories and ideas. I’m certainly proud of my extroverted intuition (Ne), or my ability to observe patterns, make connections and make sense of the world around me- but I think right now is a good time as any to sit down and focus on my weakness. A chain is after all, only as strong as its weakest link- it doesn’t make sense to increase the flow of liquid into a container without first patching up the gaping hole. So my newest and most fervent obsession now is to cultivate some Si.

How do I do this? Where do I begin? For quite some time now- perhaps since I read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and thought about Subhas Anandan, Socrates (The unexamined life is not worth living!), Lee Kuan Yew as well- I have been wanting to write the memoirs of my life. It tickles my fancy in many little ways that overlap, unify, expand and develop simultaneously.

Firstly it would be an exercise in writing, which, despite me thinking that it must be my most effective form of self-expression, I haven’t been doing enough of. I wrote a long entry about this earlier on, and this would be a nice way to scratch the surface of what could be a life-long pursuit of fulfillment.

Secondly, I have been feeling slightly unsettled and lost after completing junior college, and I have come to believe that this is because you cannot confidently decide where you want to go and who you want to be- until you first have a clear and refined idea of where you came from and who you have been. Does that not make sense? You need to consider what are your strengths and weaknesses before you make relatively minor decisions such as deciding on a school, or a career- surely it applies even more so to life at large, on a broader, grander scale?

Thirdly, I have stories to tell. They may not be the most amazing or the most fantastic of stories, but they are my stories; memories, thoughts, emotions, reflections, recollections, unique perspectives and states of mind that are just begging to be dug out from the corners of my mind and freshly interpreted. My head has always felt like a massive heap of books, ideas, notes, drawings and sketches cluttered in a massive incomprehensible mess accessible to none but yours truly, and even so with substantial effort. Perhaps it is time I tidied up and sorted everything out. Who knows, I might develop new insights on what previously befuddled me, rediscover forgotten treasures and learn even more about myself. What could possibly be more exciting than that?

I am hence going to begin writing the memoirs of my life. I only wish I could write as fast and do justice to the epic thoughts that sometimes fill my head, and to the magnificent stories and experiences I have been a part of. It is a blessing and a curse but something I am very thankful for.

PS: This post was going to be a post of random updates about my life, but it instead digressed to this. It is further testament to my state of mind, about which I shall reserve judgement until I have first made some progress. My present thoughts? Sometimes I try to do too much, and spread myself a little bit too thin- like in Starcraft, as Lerping pointed out.