I want to talk about how we treat each other. Do you remember when we were kids in primary school, when friendship was real and true? Sure we might have liked some people better than others, but it was all simple and good. We treated friends well, close friends even better. The unwritten rules were crystal clear. Those were happy, care-free times.
Don’t you think things have changed now that we’ve grown up? How have they changed? Are you more comfortable with your relationships with the world around you today? Personally, I’m not, and here’s my theory as to why.
A lot of people these days are hypocrites in the way they treat others and expect to be treated, and I think this is very common among the “educated/affluent” type who grew up being able to get away with it. While it seems personally advantageous because you get the “better end of the deal”, this is literally double-standards on integrity, and the realization of compromised integrity can make one uncomfortable and insecure. I say “can” because some people genuinely seem to be unaffected by being two-faced, although I would like to believe that it does still bother them or influence their behavior in some way at a subconscious level.
One of the most effective ways of making oneself feel less insecure (without addressing the actual root of the problem) is to discriminate and put others down openly in an expression of self-worth. If your friends validate it, you (and your views) become legitimate, and you feel better about yourself- at the expense of others. If only one or two individuals did this, it wouldn’t be validated- but it’s becoming increasingly acceptable behavior. This is why I believe discrimination has moved from into the open, and it feels like we’re becoming less tolerant of one another.
Soundness of character, personal integrity and consistent values appear to be compromised, and if we don’t take note of it and do something about it for ourselves at a personal level, we’re going to grow up to be rather unhappy people. I personally acknowledge my hypocrisy, however mild or excusable I think it is, and swear to do something about it.
What are your thoughts?
PS: To those of you who have never compromised on your own personal integrity, you have my absolute respect. It can’t be easy. Please never give up, no matter how difficult it gets. You inspire.
god, i cant agree more. its so sad really. (N)
and well yeah. again, i cant phrase myself to articulate my thoughts well enough but you seem to do that for me i think. (Y)
but really, idk if it’s got to do with growing up, competition for better grades or whatnot but since the day i entered jc, i found my world filled with hypocrisy and it kinda gets difficult to say id be leaving this sch with a bunch of friends i can trust enough. *shrugs
<3
i dont know about you but the idea of having to step over people to achieve in the field of work i am going to work in is really a big put off for me. maybe it might come naturally for some but i personally am disgusted at doing so. maybe you call me meek but maybe i say my conscious is clear.
maybe thats why primary school friends are the best.
I think it actually makes logical sense to be consistent with your own morals and ideals. It’s like a long term investment- you’re not going to make any sudden gains, but you’re going to develop a reputation for being reliable, trustworthy and dependable- which is surely valuable, especially in small communities? Wayne was like that, and everybody respected him.
Society today takes building relationships with other people to a whole new level. It really gets worse in the working world.
People who are truly two-faced to me are just weaklings who do not know how to differentiate work from personal issues.
I don’t have to like a person, but it doesn’t mean I need to be directly mean to them, or let them know how I feel about them. Cordial is a good term to use because I still need to maintain a good working relationship with that person. Neither does it mean that I can’t have my opinions about them and discuss it with my friends. In layman terms, it doesn’t mean I can’t bitch about them either since I don’t like them. Compromising on personal integrity? Hypocrite? I don’t think so. Socially acceptable? People are just going to call me two-faced. But who really is two-faced, the hypocrite? The person who does not condone my actions yet probably does the same thing? Or me? Thin line, much.
Hmmmm haha I seemed to have strayed from your main topic.
Friends? What kind of a friend discriminates and puts you down just to make themselves feel better? These people in the social world are for me to (refer to above).
It’s really a matter of sieving through the many people who come and go in your life, trial and error, and finding out who are the people worth keeping. Though my primary school days were the best, I don’t believe I haven’t found firm friends in secondary school, church, poly, and in the working world. 🙂
I don’t really like the term “two-faced” because I find that it generalizes a wide range of possible behavior under a common umbrella term which doesn’t actually explain anything. You can be “two-faced” and be a good, respectable person, or you can be an asshole and crystal clear about it.