“Narcissists can be identified by their Facebook accounts- Psychologists”

Jacq posted the above link to me and I thought it was a fascinating read, much like how a burning man is a fascinating sight.

The article claims that narcissism is “more severe (than attention-seeking) and characterized by an inability to form healthy, long-term relationships”? Doesn’t that come across as a rather myopic perspective? Here are my views. (In the name of fairness, I must state the obvious and point out that I am a strong narcissist and goddamn proud of it.)

1) Narcissism and an inability to form long-term relationships may seem co-related, but I don’t believe that we can conclude that one causes the other. We are more aware of narcissistic people’s failures because they lead such public lives. There are people who live with low self-worth who are equally terrible if not worse at committing to a relationship, but we don’t see or hear about it as much. You can imagine how misconceptions can arise from this.

2) Just because a person excercises “self-promotion” or likes to meet lots of people doesn’t mean that their relationships must be shallow. There isn’t a direct inverse relationship between quality and quantity. It is possible for one person to have 5 very close friends and 20 acquaintances, and be labeled a narcissist, and for another person to have only two friends who don’t really care much about him at all.

Relationships take time and effort to sustain, and what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It is childish to try and quantify the quality and quantity of your relationships on a linear scale, and to imply that you can only have one or the other. Because it is possible to have both as well, or neither.

3) Narcissism itself is not inherently a positive or negative trait. Some of the most successful leaders in the modern world are narcissists. Barack Obama is obviously a narcissist, don’t you think? We should cherish our productive narcissists because it takes a narcissist to believe so strongly in himself and his ability to challenge status quo and change the world.