The Harry Potter series is all about love- Harry’s parents love for him, Harry’s love for his friends, the love amongst families, love for power, so on and so forth.

Perhaps the most tragic yet beautiful love would be what Severus Snape felt for Lily Evans. She never really cared about him much, yet he loved her, so truly, till the very end.

I used to think this was kind of silly. I mean, why would you love somebody who doesn’t love you back, that you aren’t in a relationship? My logic was, if there is no relationship, it’s just infatuation. You have to know somebody and spend time with them and grow with them through mutual experiences before you can truly comprehend that you are in love. Snape was so silly, I thought. Noble but silly.

Yet I’m starting to find my own understanding and appreciation of love challenged, again.

Love doesn’t have to be sexual or romantic. It can come about from having a sense of admiration, of awe, respect. It’s… wanting to see the other party succeed and/or be happy, and being willing to sacrifice something of your own to make that happen.

One of the first things I fell in love with was a rock band called Ronin. They made me jumpy and excited and the first thing I did was approach them after the first show I caught them at and made friends. I still love all of them, to this day. And I know I can say that I always will.

I love Nicholas Tan Boon Siew and Goh Ahmad Adnin Firoz too (I think I mentioned this like less than a couple of posts ago, but I’d like to mention it again.) What we’ve had and what we’ve shared so far has already changed my life completely, and I will always love them for what they’ve done for me.

So maybe there’s two kinds of love, the first kind (with Ronin) is the magical, eye-opening sort of love. The “first impression” love, where you find yourself awe-inspired, by whomever it is, whatever they stand for, how they carry themselves. The second (with Armchair Critic) is the kind that you might not have felt at the beginning, but it grows and grows.

Neither are mutually exclusive- they can both happen, one after another, simultaneously, whatever. Paramore stunned me the moment I heard them. Radiohead grew on me like a creeper that set roots into my soul.

A while back I said that I had a crush- I’m not too sure if that’s the right way to put it. I think she’s amazing, I love her intelligence, her passion for what she does, I find her inspiring and beautiful.

Normally if I like a girl, I’d plan things out- I’d figure out what’s the best way to get to her, what’s the best line of action, so on and so forth. This time it wasn’t exactly the same sort of like, and as with Ronin, I sort of jumped the gun and just straight up asked for her number and MSN.

Either way, she’s ignoring me now. Some people tell me she likes another guy, others tell me that I freaked her out and she thinks I’m a desperate weirdo. Which I suppose I must quite seem to be!

So when you say, “Visa, just give up man, you messed up, it’s not meant to be,” I don’t really know what to say. I suppose I should give up “chasing her”, but that’s not what I actually intended to do. I didn’t mean to come off that way- I wanted to say, hey I think you’re an amazing, inspiring person.

It’s totally fine that she may never give a damn about or want to have anything to do with me- because this is something more than that.

Like Victoria School, Ronin, Thom Yorke & Radiohead, Sharan, Armchair Critic, the 519A gang, The Secret Place, and other things, I will always still love her. In that “you make the world seem like a better place” kind of way.

And I can say that with a smile, without feeling sad, emo or shortchanged or anything, because love is a beautiful gift to give, and the beauty is in the giving, and now that I look at it again, I don’t think Snape was such a fool to have loved Lily Evans till the end of his life.