A conviction that’s difficult to openly admit-\u00a0is that I think nobody has any fucking idea what they\u2019re doing. I think everybody is bullshitting their way through pretty much everything. That\u2019s an overly broad statement, so I\u2019ll have to refine that. I think the vast majority of everything that\u2019s being said around us is full of shit. I think most people are full of shit. I recognise that I\u2019m writing from some sort of bitter, angry state right now and I expect to get out of this state by writing this. By writing myself out of it. Why am I bitter? I\u2019m bitter because I feel jealous, or because I feel underserved, or under-expressed in some way. I\u2019m bitter and angry because I realise that I haven\u2019t been doing myself justice. I\u2019m not maximizing my potential, and one of the consequences of that is that I have to live with the choices that have been chosen for me. he who will not obey himself will be commanded. I\u2019m sick and tired of being commanded.
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\nI spent a little bit of time on Reddit, etc doing research to me and it\u2019s clear to me that tonnes of people have no idea what they\u2019re talking about. Some people are able to describe things more lucidly, more effectively than others, but they still don\u2019t really know what they\u2019re talking about. It\u2019s infuriating, frustrating, why do I have to listen to all of this shit? I don\u2019t, actually. That\u2019s why I left Facebook. I\u2019m going to have to leave Reddit, too. I\u2019m going to have to stop reading most of everything that comes my way, unless it\u2019s filtered by people that I trust to recommend quality things to me. Or it has to come after I\u2019ve done the writing.
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\nEvery fucking day I need to do to the writing. The last time I published a word vomit- 0195- that was on November 23rd. Over a week ago. That\u2019s why I\u2019m so bloody edgy. I need to bleed everyday. I need to spill ink everyday. If I\u2019m not spilling ink, I\u2019m getting into this space where the world crowds me out. And that\u2019s tiring, exhausting, painful. I can\u2019t stand it. I need to write everyday for the rest of my life, there\u2019s really no other way out of that.
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\nI know what the things are that I should be thinking about. I know what the things are that I should be writing about, to some degree at least. The most important thing at any given time is that I pick something of real value and then execute it. Execute execute execute.
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\nArgh, fuck the news seriously. It\u2019s like we\u2019re all just bombarding each other with inane shit. If only we could all sit down as a species and ask each other where we\u2019re hurting, why, and if we could all help each other through it. Well- actually I\u2019m not sure if that\u2019ll accomplish anything. I talk about this as though I\u2019d like somebody to sit me down and talk me through some things, but I\u2019ve actually done that- with my wife, with my boss, with people I trust- and I inevitably come to this space where I learn or realise or revisit this realisation that ultimately I have to figure this stuff out on my own. By figure this stuff out I mean beyond conceptually. Concepts are great. Ideas are great. Frameworks, narratives, insights, all of those things are great. But ultimately you have to swallow the water yourself (you can only lead a horse to water).
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\nPeople keep talking about lists and tools and frameworks and blogposts and stuff like that but what really matters? What really gets to the heart of all of it? What is product market fit? What are people actually looking for? How do you really dig into the heart of a problem? What do we really know or understand about a problem? Do we really fucking know it?
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\nThis is a mess. I am a bit of a mess. I will tidy this shit up. This probably won\u2019t be worth anything but I really felt like my hands had to go through the process of typing out a bunch of words. It\u2019s a mechanical thing. I just need to get this fucking shit out of me. It doesn\u2019t need to make sense. It doesn\u2019t need to have some ulterior purpose or motive. I just need to pour everything out. Dump it all out. Because I\u2019m tired. And it\u2019s entirely up to me to take care of myself. To fix anything and everything. And I can\u2019t quite put my finger on what the problem is but I know that it\u2019s solvable. It\u2019s within some space that can be demarcated. We are biological creatures. I just adjusted my posture. I put on the motivational video with the epic music that I wish existed, that I discovered works for me. And then I need to breath really deep. I need to drink some water. I need to keep going.
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\nWhat is the count now? 800. Sometimes I need to get angry. Sometimes I need to get mad. Blow the fuse. Throw off the chains. Break the chains. Destroy everything .Set the world on fire. Set myself on fire. Light up all the neurons. It’s all about set and setting. When you want to explode, fucking explode and leverage the hell out of that shit. It’s not about anybody else. It’s about you. It’s all about managing your own mood. About setting yourself up to get from where you are to where you want to go. About managing your energy. About managing your fire. About setting everything on fire. On expanding. On growing. On publishing. On writing. The words just need to spill. Spill all the fucking ink. Pour it out. You know that there’s a goddamn million words inside you. Stop living small. Stop limiting yourself. Stop reacting.\u00a0Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop waiting for later. Yes, exhaustion is something to worry about, to look for and to manage, but that’s hardly ever your problem, is it? Your problem is that you don’t rush to the insight.
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\nRush to the insight. Finish early. You’re done, go. Go. Go. Go. Go. GO.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A conviction that’s difficult to openly admit-\u00a0is that I think nobody has any fucking idea what they\u2019re doing. I think everybody is bullshitting their way through pretty much everything. That\u2019s an overly broad statement, so I\u2019ll have to refine that. I think the vast majority of everything that\u2019s being said… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[386],"class_list":["post-8915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-vomit","tag-jfdi"],"yoast_head":"\n