{"id":11803,"date":"2024-12-01T15:50:48","date_gmt":"2024-12-01T15:50:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/?p=11803"},"modified":"2024-12-07T05:27:16","modified_gmt":"2024-12-07T05:27:16","slug":"0876-silly-lil-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/0876-silly-lil-guy\/","title":{"rendered":"0876 \u2013 silly lil guy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Introspection<\/strong>. I believe that I\u2019m pretty good at it. I even spent a few years writing a book about it, which received some very positive reviews (\u201cIt changed my life\u201d etc). Despite this, from time to time it strikes me that I don\u2019t do it, to my own benefit, nearly half as much as I could. It\u2019s almost like I\u2019m aware of a \u2018free money glitch\u2019 and I use it\u2026 sparingly. Why is that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First of all let me contextualize what I mean by Introspection, since different people have different interpretations. I\u2019m not talking about infinitely recursive navel-gazing. I\u2019ve encountered people who seem to struggle with this, and it\u2019s always somewhat surprising to me. The way out of that infinite-mirrors trap is to attend to something that\u2019s rooted in reality. I can\u2019t remember the last time I introspected \u2018in the abstract\u2019\u2013 maybe when I was a bored teenager? Most of my introspection is focused on solving problems. And the reason I\u2019m comfortable saying that I\u2019m pretty good at introspection is that I have a history of solving my own problems. I notice something that\u2019s bothering me, and I investigate and experiment until I find a solution. Oftentimes with the more serious or persistent problems, it turns out that my definition of the problem is itself erroneous, so there\u2019s a bunch of meta-investigation that needs doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not against recursion entirely. For example, when I started writing this, I didn\u2019t know exactly where I was going with it, apart from \u201cI want to talk about introspection because it bothers me how people seem to keep assuming it\u2019s about unproductive navel-gazing\u201d. But already I can look back and see an interesting puzzle that would be productive to solve: why don\u2019t I use my \u2018free money glitch\u2019 more? <\/em>Why don\u2019t I accelerate the rate at which I solve my own problems?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I start listing out possible explanations without being too attached to any one too soon. Maybe it\u2019s that\u2026 the free money glitch isn\u2019t actually<\/em> free\u2013 introspection requires a stupid bravery<\/em>, and that costs effort and energy. It\u2019s like the psychological equivalent of physically moving around. Everyone knows it\u2019s great to be physically fit and healthy, to move, to run, jump, squat, be limber and dextrous. But not everyone makes the effort to move, even though movement sets off a cascade that then gives us more energy to expend more effort on more things that matter to us, and makes things easier to do, and so on. And yeah, I don\u2019t physically move nearly as much as I know would be good for me, either. Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of it feels like I haven\u2019t designed it to be compelling enough for me. And I start thinking about other things that I do that are compelling. Tweeting is very compelling for me, it\u2019s effortless, I can do it all day without realizing that I\u2019m doing it. Sometimes I\u2019ll casually start writing a tweet and then next thing I know almost 2 hours have passed. That\u2019s one of the reasons I know that writing is the right vocation for me. It compels me. Can I make things like introspection and physical more compelling for myself? I believe it might be possible. How? I think this is a question maybe better approached in the inverse. What deters me from doing it? Part of it is that results are not immediately obvious. Part of it is that\u2026 I feel slightly overwhelmed by the vagaries of everyday life\u2013 caring for my 1yo son and everything else that goes with that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(I am now 6 paragraphs deep and I don\u2019t see a simple or elegant path to a conclusion. One thing I could do would be to copy this note out and turn it into an essay that keeps going maybe for another 12 paragraphs. And then maybe I might find a way to condense that. But I don\u2019t feel like doing that right now, since part of my original intent here was to start something and get to a resolution in the same \u2018session\u2019. So I think I should narrow my scope, and just pick a specific thing to dig into and resolve, even if it isn\u2019t spectacular.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What can I do to increase the rate at which I use introspection to solve my own problems? What would I recommend someone else do? Well, I would say\u2026 you don\u2019t have to make a huge deal out of it. That\u2019s why tweeting is so compelling, isn\u2019t it? You\u2019re just writing one tweet. And then another. It never feels like a huge deal. And I think the mistake I make in many other domains of my life is that I keep allowing things to swell up into unnecessarily huge deals, which then become dauntingly overwhelming. I\u2019ve spent the past 2 years trying to write Great Essays, and the result has been\u2026 Not That Great. I have enough experience as a writer to know that if I simply allowed myself to write Okay Essays, some of them would be Great almost entirely by accident. That just happens sometimes as part of the magic of the creative process. Think about how a casual conversation with someone can sometimes strike you in a profound way. Whereas if you insist on trying to have profound conversations on demand, that can put undue pressure on the interaction, which saps the life out of it. (This is also part of why I feel dating apps aren\u2019t really a great idea when it comes to trying to spark chemistry with someone. It\u2019s too pointed. It\u2019d be easier to create chemistry if there\u2019s less pressure to have<\/em> chemistry.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I think that\u2019s roughly the answer I\u2019ve been looking for. I\u2019ve gotten too severe and solemn about how I do important things. I did<\/em> preempt this in my \u2018Are you serious?\u2019<\/em> essay, and it also comes up when I talk about \u2018ayy lmao\u2019 energy. I would do more of the things that I know are good, if I didn\u2019t make such a needlessly big deal out of them. If I can teach myself to once again be a silly lil guy messing around with silly little details, I genuinely think I\u2019d get a lot more done. Maybe something similar might be true for you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Introspection. I believe that I\u2019m pretty good at it. I even spent a few years writing a book about it, which received some very positive reviews (\u201cIt changed my life\u201d etc). 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