It\u2019s 253am on November 22nd 2018. I was having trouble sleeping and so I got out of bed. Usually when I get out of bed because I can\u2019t sleep, I get on my phone. This time, I\u2019m on my iPad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I bought my iPad because I wanted to practice drawing. And yet\u2026 having gotten it, I haven\u2019t been drawing. This is a common motif in my life that I\u2019m getting very tired of. I don\u2019t want to beat myself over it. I just want to understand it, and work through it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The thought that got me out of bed was \u201cthe tyranny of coherence\u201d. I\u2019ve completed 75% of my word vomit project. It started out a little rambly and random, and then over time it began to develop a certain coherence. It started to become a list of directives that I was issuing myself \u2013 reminders to review my notes, reminders to take care of myself \u2013 my body, my emotional well-being. Reminders to get stuff done, to focus, to not sweat the small stuff, to take care of my relationships. I\u2019ve basically written multiple books worth of self-directives in there at this point. And there\u2019s room for a few more books in the remaining 250,000 words. And somehow\u2026 I don\u2019t feel very excited about that. There\u2019s something boring about it. It feels stale and repetitive, like I\u2019m going through the motions. And I don\u2019t want to be going through the motions. I want to be challenging myself, I want to be having fun, I want to explore new ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I find myself thinking\u2026 I need to get a little incoherent. I need to break the mold. What does that look like? I\u2019m walking around my house and thinking\u2026 there\u2019s so much stuff here. I never thoughto f myself as someone who has any interest in accumulating stuff. And yet, stuff just happens, doesn\u2019t it? I remember writing a post in 2013 about my house when I first moved in. It was completely bare and empty. A bunch of things have changed. Thunder is rumbling in the distance, and there\u2019s a wind blowing. My front door is rattling slightly, and I can hear the wind whistling a low hum through something or another. I\u2019m sitting at a table we bought this year, on a bench we bought this year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s on the table? I have an empty bottle of water. I have three packs of cigarettes, and an ash tray \u2013 a porcelain(?) one. There are a couple of stray tissues, packets of ketchup. I just got rid of a bunch of that junk. Some of my wife\u2019s jewelry is on the table. There\u2019s a cloth coaster. The table itself has gotten scratched all over by my cats, which my wife and I found quite upsetting since it\u2019s so new \u2013 but we\u2019re probably going to get used to it. That\u2019s the thing about things, isn\u2019t it? You get used to them. I have a wallet that I bought shortly after I started work, way back in 2013. It\u2019s served me really well, and it\u2019s still in surprisingly good condition, considering I bought it for something like S$120. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m currently typing this out with the iPad keyboard that my wife and I both share. It\u2019s one of those things, I think, where it\u2019s much better if each person has one of their own, because the switching cost of sharing \u2013 even though it\u2019s tiny \u2013 is enough to be a blocker that keeps you from using it. At least, that\u2019s my personal experience. We should get a second iPad keyboard. And maybe a second iPad case, too, just so we don\u2019t have to consult each other every time we want to switch things up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are a couple of binder clips \u2013 we have netting that we hang in front of our windows, like curtains, and we use the clips to secure them in place to keep our cats from getting out onto the ledge outside our window. It\u2019s funny, it\u2019s a sort of security theater \u2013 it doesn\u2019t really<\/em> stop them. There\u2019s this tedious game my cats play with me sometimes where they climb out just outside the window and stare at me until I grab them or chase them back inside. I wonder why they do it. Who knows, cats are weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a bank statement for one of my credit cards, which came along with an ad for their referral program. It\u2019s so interesting to contrast the language in bank\u2019s marketing, with the legalese in the bill \u2013 \u201cif the minimum payment is not received by the due date, a late payment charge of S$90 will be levied\u201d and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a regular tissue box. I\u2019ve been thinking that it would be nice to get one of those aesthetic tissue box covers. I\u2019ll probably get one from Little India. I should drop by Little India again sometime now that Deepavali is over and the crowds should be mostly gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I never planned to be a cat owner. It just sort of happened. There was an adorable, smart-looking cat that followed me and my wife almost all the way to our home, and\u2026 we catnapped it. I do feel some guilt about it. But it\u2019s been almost 5 years now, and I think we can confidently say that we\u2019ve given him a loving home that he enjoys, and he\u2019s probably safer, healthier and happier with us than he would\u2019ve been on the streets. Street cats don\u2019t last this long, I think. And since we owned one cat, one of our tenants (we used to rent) thought it would be a good idea to bring home a scared, tiny kitten she found in a drain at Kallang Pudding Road. And so now we have two cats. We\u2019ve had two cats for a pretty long time. They have an interesting friendship that has itself changed over the years. And it\u2019s been interesting to witness and observe how different they are. They have different personalities, habits, behaviors. And similarities, too \u2013 they both nap all the bloody time. I mention the cats because they have such a significant impact on the way our home looks. We keep cardboard boxes around for longer than we need them, partially because they seem to have such a good time in them. One of the boxes is getting progressively scratched up, chewed up and spat out into lots of little pieces \u2013 which is annoying to have to clean up, but it\u2019s probably preferable to our cat scratching up our furniture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I bought a scratching post for the cats (I think it was like S$20) and they don\u2019t use it. Part of the reason why is because it slips. Maybe I should get a non-slip mat for it. Or maybe I should just think \u201cwell, I tried\u201d and get rid of it. Either way, it\u2019s a traffic-cone looking thing in my living room taking up space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a t-shirt from a marketing talk that I gave. I just took it out of it\u2019s plastic wrapper to see if it feels nice. It does feel nice! I wasn\u2019t expecting that. I just put it in the wash. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I have some speakers that a friend gave to me, that I\u2019ve just been holding on to. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m doing with it. I also have an old speaker that I used to use. I have a ratty old classical guitar that I\u2019ve been thinking of getting new strings for, or really, outright replacing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a couple of chairs that come with the dining table that are quite nice, though my cats have been ripping them up a little. I do like that they add some color to my living room. Same is true for a boxy red chair that I have. But I don\u2019t sit in it much. I should figure out why that is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \/\/ I\u2019ve decided to stop here and go to bed. But I thought this was good. I should do this more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It\u2019s 253am on November 22nd 2018. I was having trouble sleeping and so I got out of bed. Usually when I get out of bed because I can\u2019t sleep, I get on my phone. This time, I\u2019m on my iPad. I bought my iPad because I wanted to practice drawing.… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[335],"class_list":["post-10955","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-vomit","tag-beware"],"yoast_head":"\n