{"id":10804,"date":"2018-07-21T08:33:55","date_gmt":"2018-07-21T08:33:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/?p=10804"},"modified":"2023-05-24T15:18:27","modified_gmt":"2023-05-24T15:18:27","slug":"0710-meet-good-people-conversations-inspire-act","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/0710-meet-good-people-conversations-inspire-act\/","title":{"rendered":"0710 \u2013 meet good people and have conversations that inspire you to act"},"content":{"rendered":"

I just had lunch with someone (RH) \u2013 she was an acquaintance I knew through work, and we\u2019ve exchanged emails before in the past \u2013 and I think through this conversation we\u2019ve become friends. This process itself, of how relationships change over time and experience, was one of the topics we were discussing. The conversation was lively and intimate and nourishing, and I found myself thinking that I wanted to write when I got back. Not necessarily write about *it*, the conversation, but just write in general. Why? I think the simple act of spending time with someone Icare about is a reminder that \u201cthis\u201d is not all about me. What is \u201cthis\u201d? Everything, all of it, my life, the world. (Isn\u2019t it interesting how much of our language is vague, and allows for multiple interpretations?)<\/p>\n

A couple of things I want to remember. We talked about cover stories, and how we use them, and partially buy into them ourselves. And we talked about corroborating our thoughts and experiences with others \u2013 conversation as a way of figuring out what we think. We also talked about the utility of being clear about what you want.<\/p>\n

I said this on Twitter a while ago, in a thread about unpaid internships \u2013 my entire goal in life is to produce some art that inspires some kid like myself to also get involved and do the same. To give back to the \u201clibrary of human goodness and flourishing<\/a>\u201d that nourished me when I was a child. She pointed out that I was lucky to be clear about that, and I realized I could do more to get even clearer about it.<\/p>\n

Another thing that I wanted to remember was… about emotional moments. Feelings. A catalog of feelings. Another conversation with a couple of other friends on Twitter had us talking about \u201ccrash-induced\u201d changes \u2013 how most worldviews don\u2019t change iteratively over time, but rather are modified upon the trauma of some sort of crash event.<\/p>\n

I was watching Billions yesterday and thinking about a scene where two managers were talking about how they wish getting better performance was as simple as a matter of giving a good pep talk \u2013 but if someone wasn\u2019t carrying their weight, in a high-performance environment, they needed to be fired. Somebody had a quote about Oprah, too \u2013 Oprah was fired when she was young. \u201cImagine firing Oprah!\u201d \u201cThey didn\u2019t fire Oprah. They fired a punk-ass kid who had to be fired in order to become Oprah.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m hoping that my past experiences of failure and trauma etc etc have accumulated past some point that now allows me to face up to all of it, rather than keep looking away. I know that I should be writing. I\u2019ve said before multiple times that I\u2019m tired of being tired of being tired, recursively. How many times do I have to say it before I do something about it? When am I going to do something about it? What needs to change in order for me to change? I feel slightly like I\u2019m going through the motions, but also like time is running out. I\u2019ve said that before, time is running out. I definitely have blogposts from when I was 17, 18, 20, 21, 24, all alluding to the idea that time is running out. And time is always running out, until it\u2019s finally actually out.<\/p>\n

Maybe I\u2019m going about it the wrong way. Maybe the statement \u201ctime is running out\u201d is actually a sort of false flag, a distraction from the actual reality that time is running out. The point is to act. The point is almost always to act. The point, when it matters, is to act. Something like that.<\/p>\n

I sat down to write this because I wanted to remember. I wanted to remember what it felt like to be in conversation with a friend. My long term goal in life is to die surrounded by interesting, thoughtful, kind people. If I have children, that\u2019s all I want for them \u2013 that they be kind, thoughtful people, and it would be cool if they liked me enough to want to hang out with me. But if I don\u2019t have kids, I want that outcome anyway. I want to meet more new people who I feel like I can be honest with, psychologically intimate with. In some ways I feel closer to this new friend than I\u2019ve felt with some really old friends that I\u2019ve known for over a decade. I expected this. I want this. I want to be more intimate and vulnerable and sensitive and tender than I\u2019ve ever been.<\/p>\n

So what\u2019s next? What\u2019s next is more writing, and more conversations. What\u2019s next is taking action. The point is always to act. I take too long between actions. I second-guess myself too much. I wait too long. I languish too long. I sleep too late. I need to sleep earlier, sleep more. To fix my sleep I need to correct my scarcity mindset regarding sleep<\/a>. How is scarcity mindset fixed? According to a blogpost about it \u2013 change your environment (how?) change your language (how?), learn new skills (how?), change your traditions and habits (how?). In all cases each project is made up of small actions. The smallest actions are the ones that can be done outright. So suppose I made it a priority to sleep early tonight. What does that look like? After I have dinner, I typically linger and bum for several hours, sometimes reading, sometimes just sitting on twitter, sometimes playing video games. This has been relaxing in the short term these past few weeks that I\u2019ve been unemployed, but I have hit the point of diminishing returns. What I need now is a simple notepad of some sort, a simple file, maybe a new personal chat with myself on telegram where I keep track of the small actions I\u2019m taking in order to bootstrap my new language, my new environment, my new way of being, my new, fuller self. I\u2019ll do that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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