{"id":10420,"date":"2017-01-29T13:40:40","date_gmt":"2017-01-29T13:40:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/?p=10420"},"modified":"2017-07-09T10:09:13","modified_gmt":"2017-07-09T10:09:13","slug":"0637-yolo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/0637-yolo\/","title":{"rendered":"0637 \u2013 YOLO"},"content":{"rendered":"

For DC: \u201chow can one best fulfill the saying live as if you might die tomorrow?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m a very naughty fellow, so whenever anybody gives me some sort of directive I tend to quickly think of the most mischievous way to interpret it. And here it is for this one:<\/p>\n

If I knew I were going to die tomorrow, I think the first thing I would do is probably get myself some drugs. I mean, you\u2019re going to die, right? Some people say that using heroin is like lying to rest in the lap of God. Wouldn\u2019t that be a nice way to go? The main thing keeping me from trying (apart from the fact that it is very, very illegal) is the knowledge that it\u2019s very addictive \/ habit-forming, and that I had a tough enough time with cigarettes. [1] But an addiction is meaningless if you\u2019re not going to wake up to see tomorrow.<\/p>\n

Anyway \u2013 to answer the question directly. I don\u2019t know. I think a lot of people throw the sentence around because it sounds really enlightened. It\u2019s the sort of thing you\u2019d say at a commencement speech at a prestigious university \u2013 Steve Jobs said something similar, and I\u2019m sure like at least 30% of speakers say the same thing.<\/p>\n

That said, I can think of a few instances in my life where I found myself thinking, \u201cYou know what, if I died now, I\u2019d be alright with it.\u201d Looking back, I realise I tend to think this when looking at good views, or when taking a long, leisurely walk. So maybe the answer is to take more walks.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a lot of things that I still want to do before I die. And I know that I realistically won\u2019t do them all. I won\u2019t become a hotshot author AND a popular musician AND learn to code and build a killer app AND travel to all the cool countries in the world AND\u2026 you know it. I have to prioritise. And accept that most of the things just aren\u2019t going to happen. Right now I\u2019m thinking the thing that I really want to try is to put in as many points as I can into the \u201cAuthor\u201d skill tree. And that means writing as much as I can. A day when I write is better than a day when I don\u2019t write. And there IS always a really satisfying feeling at the end of having written something, even if I know that as a whole what I wrote was pretty crappy. This particular vomit is maybe about 40-50% crap. But that\u2019s okay, that happens, I just gotta keep going. Prolific is better than perfect.<\/p>\n

That said, I also find it helpful to reflect on the people in my life who have already died. There was this kid from VS who died right after finishing his O levels, back when I was in JC. We dedicated a song to him at VS\u2019s evening of music and drama. I knew a guy from TPJC named Daniel S, who had a heart condition. I think the fella always knew that his mortality was much more fragile than the rest of us. I didn\u2019t know him that well, but I think he did seem more chill than most people, and he also did more random things \u2013 travel, etc. Maybe he knew that he didn\u2019t have a lot of time, and so he didn\u2019t care for stupid shit. Wayne Thunder died 10 freaking years ago. At the time he seemed like this wise, mature older guy. But how old was he then? Probably about 10 years older than me. So I\u2019m now the age Wayne was when he died. I could die tomorrow. Who knows? Life is crazy like that.<\/p>\n

Going back to the question again \u2013 is it actually possible to live like you\u2019re going to die tomorrow, if you know you\u2019re probably going to live at least 10, 20, 30 more years? I think there\u2019s a part of our subconscious that knows the truth, and doesn\u2019t really buy our bullshit when we try to bullshit ourselves. We will never be able to engage our lives with the same urgency as when we know we\u2019re about to die. That\u2019s just like, the physics of life.<\/p>\n

What we CAN do, though, I think, is contemplate periodically. I think about once a month is a good tempo for this. At the end of every month, consider the fact that your \u2018month-self\u2019 has died. Whatever you had hoped to achieve, see, experience \u2013 if you fell short, you fell short, and you have to be okay with that. Have a little mental funeral for January self, and then look forward to February. I\u2019m trying to do this, I think it\u2019s helping. And by helping I mean \u2013 it\u2019s helping me live a more intentional, present life.<\/p>\n

Oh, out of sync but I just remembered a quote from reddit. Someone asked his boss how his boss was so chill all the time. And his boss said, I paraphrase, \u201cSon, one day you\u2019re going to receive a phone call that the most important person in your life is dying or dead. And in that moment you\u2019re going to realise how little anything else matters.\u201d I try to reflect on that fairly regularly.<\/p>\n

So to recap \u2013 take long slow walks, reflect on the fallen, reflect on your own mortality.<\/p>\n

Another mental image comes to mind \u2013 you know that scene in Toy Story 3, where all the toys are in the incinerator, panicking at their impending doom \u2013 and then they hold hands? We\u2019re all in the incinerator, right now. Reach out to your loved ones. Hold hands.<\/p>\n

\u2013<\/p>\n

[1] I was just thinking earlier today – I like cigarettes. I\u2019ve stopped smoking for months on end multiple times. I think my longest stretch was about 9 months. In that time I felt well and truly free of cigarettes, and didn\u2019t need them. After a while I didn\u2019t even think about them. But there\u2019s something beautiful and poignant about cigarettes, to me. Whenever I hear someone say something like, oh I used to smoke but you\u2019re just poisoning yourself, it\u2019s just ugly and terrible, why do you hate yourself, -insert ton of negative rhetoric here-, I get the point, but I also get suspicious. I just tune out a little whenever I hear anybody feeling too strongly about one thing or another. Like people talking about only the good or only the bad about something \u2013 say, their ex. Assuming they weren\u2019t in some sort of abusive, manipulative situation \u2013 what does it say about their judgement? You know what I mean.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For DC: \u201chow can one best fulfill the saying live as if you might die tomorrow?\u201d I\u2019m a very naughty fellow, so whenever anybody gives me some sort of directive I tend to quickly think of the most mischievous way to interpret it. 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