{"id":10106,"date":"2016-05-10T14:22:02","date_gmt":"2016-05-10T14:22:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/?p=10106"},"modified":"2017-06-23T18:09:48","modified_gmt":"2017-06-23T18:09:48","slug":"0561-just-ship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/0561-just-ship\/","title":{"rendered":"0561 \u2013 Just Ship It"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>A: So I haven\u2019t written for myself in a while.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Why is that?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: I guess I\u2019ve been busy. Or distracted. Or tired of the sound of my own voice. Probably all of the above.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: That\u2019s somewhat understandable.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: Yeah. But sometimes I feel fine when I haven\u2019t been writing, and sometimes I feel shitty. This time I feel shitty.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Why?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: I suppose it feels like my writing hasn\u2019t caught up to what\u2019s in my mind. If I feel like I\u2019ve exhausted everything that\u2019s on my mind for a given period of time, then it\u2019s no biggie. I can rest and relax without any concern. But if there\u2019s stuff on my mind, and I haven\u2019t been writing it down, then it starts to bother me.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Okay. What\u2019s on your mind?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: Well, I\u2019ve been thinking about what I want to do with my life. And I think it\u2019s pretty certain that I want to be working with words, no matter what. I like words. I have a good relationship with words. I care about words more than most people I\u2019ve ever encountered. So I\u2019m going to be making a living with words one way or another, and I\u2019m also going to be seeking pleasure and meaning (or the illusions of them) through words.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Sounds fair.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: Well, it feels like I haven\u2019t taken the next step yet.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: What is the next step?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: I need to start writing something that goes beyond navel-gazing, self-examining stuff. These things have been status reports and personal psychoanalyses and I\u2019m a little bored of that. I feel like there has to be something more.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Such as?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: What I used to do before this was write social commentary. And there\u2019s a particular piece that I\u2019m thinking of doing, but I haven\u2019t made much progress on that. And I think there\u2019s something else I want to do.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Wait, that\u2019s a bunch of things all at once. What is the piece that you\u2019re thinking of doing?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: Singapore-based social commentary again, about how we treat rebellious, inconvenient nuisance type people. I want to make the case that the way we treat them defines who we are as a people, and that we\u2019re unfortunately undervaluing them.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: That sounds like something you\u2019d care about. What\u2019s stopping you?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: Well\u2026 nothing in particular, I guess. Maybe it\u2019s a little too big a project to be written in a single draft. And I\u2019m also thinking of a bunch of other things at the same time.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: What else are you thinking?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: I suppose it feels like writing about Singapore is a bit of a trap, it brings me back to who I was before I started this project. Saying that out loud feels a little silly\u2013 because I know intellectually that I can\u2019t possibly be the same person any more. All my friends tell me that I\u2019ve changed. But I guess I\u2019m hoping to go somewhere altogether new now.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Where do you want to go?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: That\u2019s the thing, I\u2019m not entirely sure.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: You must have some idea, or you wouldn\u2019t be here right now.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: You\u2019re right. Well. I want to write about manhood, about how a boy becomes a man. And I suppose I\u2019m hesitating there because I\u2019m sure that\u2019s been done to death, and anybody who\u2019s serious about writing that sort of thing must do a whole bunch of reading before they can get started.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Maybe. Not necessarily though. Sounds like you\u2019re placing a lot of expectations on yourself. Why must some piece of writing be guaranteed to be successful?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: I suppose\u2026 I suppose I feel like I haven\u2019t been super-amazing on all the other fronts. I\u2019m doing okay in most things. And I\u2019d like to be really, really good at something, and I\u2019m scared that that won\u2019t be the case. That I\u2019m going to reveal my own incompetence and weakness, especially since this is going to be something I haven\u2019t done before. It\u2019s going to be bad. It\u2019s going to be weak. And I guess delaying is a sort of mislaid protection mechanism.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: So what does that tell you?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: I should stop worrying about it and just start writing crap. I can publish crap on this site and hardly anybody\u2019s going to know or care, anyway. I\u2019m just beating myself up inside my own head and keeping myself from moving forward. It\u2019s all imaginary.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: So what are you going to write about?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: I feel like I should start practicing writing fiction. But there are so many parts to fiction. There\u2019s dialogue. There\u2019s setting. There\u2019s\u2026 an endless set of things to consider. And I don\u2019t know what my personal style is. I don\u2019t know what sort of context or setting I should use. I don\u2019t even know where to begin. I\u2019ve spent so much time in the critical zone that I don\u2019t know how to begin to be generative. I suppose I\u2019ve tried a couple of times but\u2026 I don\u2019t know, I don\u2019t find it inspiring.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Sounds like you should just get something shitty and bad out first, and then you can criticise and edit that.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: Yeah, that makes sense to me intellectually. It\u2019s also probably the advice I\u2019d give to anybody else who feels stuck in my situation. Crazy how it\u2019s possible to know what to do and yet feel like you don\u2019t know what to do when you\u2019re in the situation.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Happens to every person in the arena, I think.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: You\u2019re right, as always. I should consult you more often.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Happy to be of service.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: So what do you think I should write first? I have so many different ideas and I don\u2019t know where to begin.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Honestly, it really does sound like you\u2019re overthinking it. You\u2019ll benefit from just getting stuff out of your system. So start with whatever you know you can finish quickly. Get that stuff out, and then don\u2019t look back\u2013 just move on to the next thing. And the next. And the next.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: You\u2019re so smart.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Now you\u2019re being sarcastic.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A: *shrug* It\u2019s a sort of defence mechanism, I guess. But I do mean it.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>B: Then you know what you must do.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A: So I haven\u2019t written for myself in a while. B: Why is that? A: I guess I\u2019ve been busy. Or distracted. Or tired of the sound of my own voice. Probably all of the above. B: That\u2019s somewhat understandable. A: Yeah. But sometimes I feel fine when I haven\u2019t&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[386],"class_list":["post-10106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-vomit","tag-jfdi"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>0561 \u2013 Just Ship It - 1,000,000 words by @visakanv<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/visakanv.com\/1000\/0561-just-ship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"0561 \u2013 Just Ship It - 1,000,000 words by @visakanv\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A: So I haven\u2019t written for myself in a while. 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