I spent some time earlier on twitter somehow getting involved in some discussions about american politics. Do I even care about american politics? Is there anything worthwhile for me in that space? What influence am I ever going to have on it? What change can I effect? If I’m really honest with myself, the only reason to even participate in those discussions is really just to engage with my American friends. It shouldn’t be surprising that American politics feels important and significant to Americans. Though funnily enough I’m not sure I spend a lot of time talking about Singaporean politics with my Singaporean friends – apart from where there are major events, or if it’s an election year. Somehow it seems like there are major events in American politics practically every other day these days. There’s a culture war going on.

Another friend was asking recently in a group chat about climate change. He asked if it made sense to start planning and strategizing for a sort of post-apocalyptic future. My honest answer is… I don’t know, man. I don’t know if there’s any point to doing it. If it makes you feel better, and it gives you some sense of security, then I guess yeah, go for it, why not. But if I ask myself… do I really worry about it? Do I really care? I do think it’s a problem. I don’t know if ordinary folks like us can do very much about it at this point. We have the leadership that we have, not the one we wish we’d had. And things are definitely going to get a lot worse before they get better, if they get better. Millions of people – maybe hundreds of millions, maybe billions of people are going to suffer and perish in the climate fuckery that’s ahead of us. It’s a very sad thought. Am I going to be one of them? Well.

I guess the way I think about it is quite myopic. I’m Singaporean. I’m in Singapore. I trust that Singapore will generally try to do what it can to survive. And… if it all fails, then what? Then… I guess we’ll die…? I don’t know. It’s hard to think about this. I find myself continuing with a “business as usual” mindset until the people around me start really demonstrating some sort of awareness. I have friends who are smarter than me, who are more in tune with broader realities than me. I trust that I can leave it to them to help me decide when it’s time to run for the bunkers – and I have a feeling that if it does come to that, those metaphorical bunkers aren’t going to be of much use anyway.

Perhaps we will see a global-scale breakdown of law and order in our lifetime. I don’t want to say “that would be exciting” because that’s a really irresponsible and selfish thing to say, and I don’t particularly look forward to that sort of excitement. I think. But it would be exciting, in a scary and terrible and horrible way. People who’ve lived through wars and disasters have said as much. If things get bad, I hope I rise to the occasion and carry myself with honor and dignity and courage.

I just did some tab-opening and googling to get a sense of the likely impact of climate change on Singapore. Maybe our food supply is going to be affected, and food is going to get much more expensive, and we’re going to have to figure out how to make do with less. Well, if that’s how it goes then that’s how it goes. Maybe diseases will become more common and there’s a likelier chance that we’ll randomly die from dengue or something of the sort. Maybe people in the streets are going to panic and wail and cry and scream. That will be interesting too. I don’t know, man. I want to be hopeful about the future.

I actually don’t think that changing individual behavior is going to make much of a difference unless individuals are really able to coordinate at a scale that we’ve never been able to coordinate at before. It will be nice if that happens. But it’s not like I’m a heavy consumer in general. I don’t know. I suppose I am, relative to the bottom 80% of the world’s consumers. But nowhere close to the top 1%. What does any of that even really mean, anyway? What does it matter? Who am I trying to persuade, and what am I trying to persuade them of? I don’t know. At the end of the day, to speak solipsistically for a bit, self-respect is the only thing that really truly matters. What diminishes my self-respect? Will I regret not having taken more action “against” climate change? Should I recalibrate and reorient my life to be more of a climate change activist?

It all still feels so academic to me. It all feels so abstract. My mind isn’t naturally interested in wrapping itself around such large-scale problems, knowing in advance that it’s unlikely that I’ll make much of a difference. What CAN I make a difference in? Can I have more financial stability and security for myself? Can I build relationships with other people? I remember reading Gang Leader For A Day, and reading about the specifics of the lives of people living incredibly rough, difficult lives in inner cities. How do those people survive? They do it by leaning on each other, incredibly, more than we realize is possible. Life today, and this is related to capitalism, I suppose, is so… individualized. I live alone in a house with my wife and cats. And we eat out quite often, which is more expensive than if we lived together with more people and cooked and ate together. So… if there’s one thing I know about how to survive hard times – it’s all about surrounding yourself with people you trust, and taking care of each other.

So… invest in your relationships.