(original thread) What does it mean to process something? I see versions of this question all the time, and I seldom see anybody give a really satisfactory answer. I think I have a pretty good one.

Generally speaking, the thing that needs to be processed after a peak experience, are one’s prior assumptions.

Lemme explain… I’ll start by giving an example of a simple event that has me “processing” for days: the first time I squatted more than my body weight.

As an event, it was mechanical. I had been doing the same thing I had been doing for weeks: putting a weight on my shoulders, going down, going up. All I did, compared to the previous thing, was add I think 2.5kg more. I went from squatting 85kg to 87.5kg or something like that. I can’t even remember the exact weight now. The specific detail is trivial. But in that moment, I did something I had never done before in my life.

Samwise to Frodo: “If I take one more step, it’ll be the farthest away from home I’ve ever been.”

Is that what I had to process? No! What I had to process was the realisation that I WAS WRONG ABOUT WHAT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME. What else was I wrong about? I had to question every single assumption I had. Every single thing I thought I “knew” to be true about my limits.

“Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.” Agent K, Men In Black

Five days ago, you knew you were unattractive, unlikeable, unworthy of kinship, unable to have a good time dancing, unable to be fully yourself with anybody else. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow!

Every hero’s journey, every initiation ritual, in some sense, is just some guy going for a walk, sometimes picking up a package along the way, etc etc. the thing that needs “processing” is one’s assumptions about what is possible. You can end up remodeling your entire psyche
that realization can in turn convince you to remodel your entire life, which was previously built on top of your old set of assumptions and limiting beliefs. you might now realize you want to quit your job. ask her out. move to a new city. have kids. it’s very consequential!

Peter B. Parker to Miles Morales: “I love you, I am so proud of you! Do I want kids?”